Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

Jim, Doug, Jadd and I agreed to a game of golf at Steele Canyon Golf Club. Jim claimed it was at least as hard a course as the legendary Olinda Golf Course (remember the name and tremble in fear) in Melbourne. In case the reader is not a golfer, surmise to say that at the Olinda Golf Course even the mountain goats have a hard time hoofing it over the mountainous terrain. The ninth hole at Olinda is known by the colloquial name of "heart attack hill" a steep road has been built to allow ambulance access; but enough of Olinda: Back to Steele Canyon.

Doug, Linda and Russell enjoy a quick coffee before setting off

The day's golf was touted to be so grueling that we decided we had better have a filling breakfast before starting off, so we found a local diner in Coronado where Russell entertained the waitress and other diners with his "Swedish" accent while we waited for our breakfast to arrive.

Sharing a joke at the diner

Then it was off on the long haul into the mountains that surround San Diego in search of the legendary Steele Canyon.

It's a long, long road. From which there is no return...

Jim, our designated driver (and golf guide) for the day, shows his command of the San Diego freeway system.

Jim: Golf guide extraordinaire

While for most, golfing attire is simply a matter of de rigueur, for others (Doug for example,) it is a constant struggle where fashion clashes with the mandated dress code.

You mean I have to wear a shirt with a collar!?!?

Waiting for us at the first hole was Jadd who had flown in specially for this match. A serious golfer, he was to have his game re-defined by the Aussie-style rough-and-ready rules that were to be played that day.

Jadd had no idea what was in store for him in this extraordinary golf game.

Although still early morning, Doug could see no yard-arm so simply assumed the sun would be over a yard-arm in some time zone somewhere in the world.

Doug oils up his game...

Jim calls for action and Russell calls to "bring it on..." It was time for the game to begin. "Where's this bloody cliff?" says Russell

Game on...

Just then, Jadd cried out: "Snake!" A sidewinder (relative of the hoop snake) was attacking him.

The snake attack.

A fan of The Crocodile Hunter, the fearless Jadd decides to demonstrate his snake handling skills.

This is how The Crocodile Hunter did it...

The snake had a different idea and made several unsuccessful lunges at Jadd's gloved hand.

Jadd, hereafter known as The Snake Hunter shows how it's done.

We decided to rename this course Snake Canyon. After a nerve steadying swig of an ice-cold foaming beer, we continued the game, secure in the knowledge that if we were to run up against another snake, we had The Snake Hunter there with us to take control of the situation.

Jadd and Russell have a side-wager

Meanwhile, Doug waits for The Snake Hunter's all-clear and takes the opportunity to replenish his energy - it was a hot and grueling day after all.

It it safe to get out yet?

The all-clear given, Doug gets onto the fairway and takes an almighty swing at the ball...

Wow! That went so far, I lost sight of the ball...

In anticipation of being allowed to drive in the USA, Russell brushes up on his driving technique in the golf cart.

I can drive a car just like I drive this cart!

After a number of near misses, mostly involving Jadd and Jim, Russell is declared an Unsafe Alien in the USA.

What do you mean collision?! I missed you by this much.

Jim played his usual off-fairway game as a kind of handicap so as not to show up the other golfers in the foursome.

Wow! Did you see that drive?

With all the liquid refreshments, it was comforting to know that the golf cart came equipped with gentleman's bottles.

I can sure use one of these.

The day got longer and, hotter. The game got longer and hotter, The players got to drinking and... well, drinking.

Now, let's see Jim play without these.

As the day wore on, some peculiar local rules were invoked such as confiscation of clubs and ball inspections.

Sorry Goldfinger, it seems this is not your ball.

Late into the afternoon we were pleased to be treated to numerous demonstrations of driving skills (both with the Big Bertha and... the golf cart.)

Jadd close to losing control on the causeway.

It was getting close to the twenty-seventh hole and there was still no clear winner (mostly due to scoring difficulties and an inability to add the scores so late in the afternoon.)

That was such a sweet putt.

We decide to replay the twenty-seventh indefinitely until there was a clear winner. So back we trekked to the tee.

"Did you see that?.." "Sorry, I was taking a picture."

We replayed that hole so often, it was beginning to feel like my garden at home. Many more times and i would have got out the mower.

I can even win this one-handed!

Jim decided to demonstrate some fancy golf shots. Unfortunately they didn't all go as planned.

Ok, so one-handed wasn't such a good idea.

At the end of the day, the match was canceled due to lack of daylight. After many recounts, through the fog of beer, it is still unclear to this day either who actually won or... just how many holes we played.